Composed by Miriam Khayat
5 pillar candles sit before me
I watch their flames dance along the darkness
Capturing the absence of light within their own
Their smoke jumps across, indecisive of direction
Almost unaware that I am watching
Shadows cross the wall, and I am left to only search for Yours
An image that could never be found
For You are far too beautiful for any picture to capture
Any shadow to blend
Any eyes to understand
What beauty do You hold that even light cannot fathom
As for You,
You captivate me,
You amaze me
Your existence keeps me at my knees
Always in awe by Your omnipotence
I am lost in Your magnitude
A servant adrift within Your powers
You are my labyrinth
And I am left screaming for only Your guidance in leading me home
Forcing my heart to sing words of everlasting devotion
And allow my eyes to cry water of lost seas
As these hands lift up in worship
How am I to deny all of Your blessings?
I, this sad soul
Unworthy of Your favors
Almost worth nothing of Your notice
For You have spoiled us
We are constants in mistakes
At times we are unworthy of Your help
But time and time again
You have saved us from ourselves
Pulled us from this wreckage
And never have You asked for much
For almost no one comes close to real humbleness before You
We are all of lost children and lost parents and those before
I am of those who cry when emptiness surrounds me
When that emptiness fills me, leaving me hollow to my core
We assume that no one hears our cries
That we speak of hopeless prayers, needs, pain
But You,
You have always listened
The master above all claimed masters
The real
The truth
The uncorrupt
The immensely indescribable
Yours whose promises are forever kept
Never broken
Never bent nor altered
I am standing before You,
I feel like i am standing still
Yet without You I am in complete lack of sweet stability
It is You who keeps me sturdy to the ground
And it is You who moves me when motion is needed
My eyes sealed shut indefinitely
Be it not for You
My ears forever unhearing to Your beautiful call
If not for Your blessings
My arms unable to move if not to be raised to Your glorification
How i wish
How i wish to be a puppet
And You, the master of my strings
To be tanned by the light of Your rays
Days have passed and tears have soaked these cheeks
And yet still You are not sick of my need for You
Never bitter by my calling You
Nor irate at my vulnerability for You
You have never questioned the color of my skin
The tone of my language
The amount of my income
You have simply examined the pureness of this heart
The whiteness of these intentions
The wetness of these tears
The amount of heartbreak
This overload of heartache
Never once judged me
For i have simply walked 1 step nearer to You
And You have run 10 towards me
Of all that I have been doubtful
You are the one I am undoubtful of
For no hesitation can arise from such beautiful truth
You have rendered me not helpless but secure
Strong, content, illuminated
Wiping these tears i fear tomorrow i will forget to cry
Please do not find me ungrateful
For You have been my solace
My escape from this cruel world
The constellation that guides this lonely road
Only to You do i concur
I am forever at your service
As You have been the answers to all of my prayers
Thank You,
I thank You for your presence
I am forever grateful for Your uncovering the veil that covered my eyes
And each time i blow these candles out
Their light seems to leave me
I am left in absolute darkness
Yet only Your light has never fallen absent
Only Your light does never turn to smoke
vanishing in the darkness
It is in that darkness that Your light keeps me most calm and comforted...most content
Only Your light does never leave
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